Mad at the world, raaaaaaaaarrrr!!
2006-02-17 00:00

I'm listening to:
Current mood:
Important Dates:

OK, I'll come right out and say it: I am angry. At first I thought I was merely annoyed, then it progressed to aggravated, then frustrated, and now it's reached the final stage. Angry.
Why do parent/teacher conferences always make me feel this way? Maybe because the teachers wait to say all the negative things about me to my parents, not to my face. Oh no, way too confidential for me. My delicate little ears might not be able to handle it!
OK, here's the deal. My English teacher told my parents that she's scared for me in college, because I don't stand up for myself. She said that Kaitlin had to push me toward her desk and encourage me to talk to her when I wanted something. NOT TRUE!!!!!! Kaitlin, you can back me up on this, can't you? We always leave the English room together for lunch. I said I needed to talk to my teacher, so Kaitlin led me to her desk. Not pushed. Kaitlin doesn't push!!!!! G, on occasion. Mary, hell yes. Kaitlin, not so much. Oh, and she said that I never speak up in English; I just wait to be called on. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT????? I enjoy sitting quietly and listening to the discussions, and if I have an important point to make, I will give it! I am perfectly capable of advocating for myself. Who was the one who made it clear that she did not want resource teachers monitoring her grades? ME!!!!! Who was the one to call the library in Lincoln when 2 of her books went missing? ME!!!!!! Who is the vice-president of the Nebraska Association of Blind Students? ME!!!!!!
Please don't get me wrong. My English teacher is one of the most intelligent and interesting teachers I've ever had. She makes learning fun, and grades things fairly. But she just doesn't understand me. I may be quiet in class, but I am not a flimsy little tissue paper person that will deteriorate under pressure! I mean, look at the things I'm coping with right now: a. The loss of one of my oldest friends, my puppy, Tawny; b. Not being able to contact Mary at all, since her cell is broken and she has no internet, even though I've heard very disturbing news about her; and c. All the hassle that comes with one's senior year in high school. I am not, in any way, saying that I am the worst-off person in the country (I'm aware of the devastation caused by natural disasters, thank you), but I do know what pressure is like, and I can cope. I will be fine in college.
Um wow. Now my sane self is slowly returning. I feel so much better now that I've vented out all my frustrations. I'm just in a pretty rotten mood tonight, and then, of course, I decided to watch Million Dollar Baby, which made me cry, so my emotions are already going haywire. I'll just leave it here for today, and write some other time, with considerably less "poor me" type stuff. Sorry, y'all, had to get it out. Parting thought: I'VE BEEN WORKIN' ON THE RAILROAD!!!! (I don't know, don't ask)
KD
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